its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
