garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
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