wrigley field is MILF paradise
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
