He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize