i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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