He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
