White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
