In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
