I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
