he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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