I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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