Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
