i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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