You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
