Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
