She's like a pop up book from hell.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
foreskin is a definite game changer
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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