hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
This baby is an asshole
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
