Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
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You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
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I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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