just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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