Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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