I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
