margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
did you just send me my own nude
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
