UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
