Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
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Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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