Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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