I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize