Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I came so hard my ears popped.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
