i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
