i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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