the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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