Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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