please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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