Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
