I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
