TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
