I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Boobs are out for the taking
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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