so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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