Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
