i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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