my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
