You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
