just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
