I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
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You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
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I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.