I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.