Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.