i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
