Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
