did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
