i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
