Your mouth is God's brothel.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.