marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
