I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
