butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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