can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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