Have you finally orgasmed yet?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
