I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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