just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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