did you get engaged???
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
