he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
