so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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