i wish peter jackson would direct porn
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
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Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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