Me too!
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
