I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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