She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
