Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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