did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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