"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
