I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
