those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
