Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
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You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
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I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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