I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
i out mim tonsoeep
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